“Flattery is a kind of bad money, to which our vanity gives currency.”
– François de La Rochefoucauld
You may have experienced the social farce about which Chuba Ezekwesili wrote:
...Flatterers offer ebullient greetings with the expectation of
immediate financial remuneration for their ‘arduous’ task of unabashed
adulation. With money, criminals can instantaneously become
‘honorables’. They can also become ‘elders’ in the church and most
possibly ‘saints’, if it was permitted. Money in Nigeria also has this
wonderful effect of reversing age differences. Suddenly, you can become
‘daddy’ or ‘uncle’ to someone who’s competing with your grandfather’s
grey hairs.
And because half my readership comes from outside Nigeria, I’ll drop a
few commonly used Nigerian greetings you should be wary…just in case
you venture back into Nigeria. These include “We remain loyal”, “My
Oga”,”My Chairman”, “Well done Sah”, “Anything for your boys?”, “You too
much O!” ,”Happy Weekend” etc.
Flattery’s a unique product because it’s not only exchanged for money,
it also takes the place of money in many cases. Like currency, flattery
can be ‘exchanged’ for other goods/products such as job opportunities,
political appointments and sexual favors. Religious leaders use flattery
to placate their congregation and keep them hoping. Politicians use
flattery-as well as other expensive and forcefully persuasive resources-
to garner the votes of the masses. Nigerian men prolifically use
flattery to win the favor of women and vice-versa. And the most amusing
of all are the Nigerian policemen who flatter/hustle money from you.
...Nigeria. A country where the bitter
truth is anathema and flattery is the cherished medicine. Don’t
‘embarrass’ the President, Minister, Governor, Pastor or authority by
being honest. Instead, allow their ineptitude to continue. Little do
those who constantly have an excuse for the ineptitude of authority
realize that they are only worsening the performance of those they
adulate.
Overall, flattery is not necessarily detrimental and can be
invaluable…especially when you’re in a relationship. It just depends on
how much of it you decide to take in. Those who fail to control their
demand for flattery might end up getting so much of it that they begin
to trade in their own coins…and I believe that’s called self-flattery.
And to those who love to trade in flattery, remember – your flattery is
like cash, the more you dish it out, the less value it holds over time.
More...
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