Thursday, April 19, 2007

Remember the Two Cows jokes?

The ones about Corporations
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
(more...)

The ones about Governments
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows..
(more...)

BOND MARKET: You have two cows. One is Brazilian, one is Australian. They yield 25 quarts of milk per day. That's half as much as three years ago, when you traded your less-lactiferous German and U.S. cows for them. You are thinking of swapping for a pair of Namibian cows. They only have three legs but, hey, they produce 26 quarts per day.
...
DERIVATIVES: You have two cows. You repackage five of them into a Collateralized Lactating Obligation, pay for a AAA credit rating, slice the CLO into 10 pieces and sell it to investors, skimming the cream from the milk for yourself. Three of the cows fall ill, and the credit rating plummets. You get to keep the cream.

INTEREST-RATE SWAPS: You have two cows. You pledge one of them to me as collateral in a swap for some of my pigs. I pledge the cow to my neighbor as collateral in a swap for some of his sheep. He pledges the cow to his cousin as collateral in a swap for some of his cousin's goats. Better pray the livestock market doesn't crash and we have to try and round up that cow.
(more...)

SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to someone else.
COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and gives you a share of the milk.
CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
NAZISM: You have two cows. The goverment takes both and shoots you.

Find A LOT more Two Cows madness at Uncyclopedia

Post a Comment: Write your own Two Cows poetry or share your favourite.

Recent Comments

Previously on UpNaira

 

Followers